I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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