youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
