He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
