don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
