What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
