I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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