you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it's great music for shaving your balls
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
