I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize