So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
