i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
