Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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