i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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