I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
