Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
