I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
