just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
