Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
