this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
