I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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