Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
