smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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