Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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