I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
