before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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