Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
