I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
