The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
