i think i have herpe
just one?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My life is pants optional.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
