she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
