i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
