I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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