i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
