that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
