If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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