well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
