Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
