I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
