You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
