her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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