party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
