He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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