used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
