that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
