Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
