Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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