i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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