just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
