physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
