I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
