love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
