My brain says no but my pants say off.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
