i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Girls should come with a carfax report
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
