bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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