I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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