Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
