Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
