just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
