Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
