Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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