Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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