suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
