6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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