There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
