I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
