I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
