his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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